Who Are You? – Which Voice Do You Listen To?

This world is full of different voices that keep telling us who are are, trying very hard to feed us with their worldview/value systems and ultimately to win our heart and loyalty. Every counselor/therapist has his/her own worldview and provides counseling based on that particular worldview. Here are two typical voices (worldviews) that we hear. Which one do you listen to? And how does that impact your own life and how you see the world?

你是谁?两种声音你会听哪一种?

这个世界充满了各种不同的声音,不停地告诉我们我们是谁,竭力让我们相信其世界观/价值体系,并最终赢得我们的心和忠诚。每位心理咨询师都有自己的世界观,并会根据该世界观进行心理辅导。以下是我们常听到的两种典型的声音(价值观)。你会听哪一种声音?这会如何影响你的个人生活和你看待世界的方式?

What is Biblical Counseling?

There are many different terms concerning the word “counseling”, for example, Biblical Counseling, Christian Counseling, Secular Counseling, Psychotherapy, Christian Psychotherapy, Therapy, etc. These terms could cause much confusion, so I will try to briefly explain what Biblical Counseling is about and hope that will help bring a clearer understanding of this term. I will also share some differences between Biblical Counseling and Secular Counseling, as well as some differences between Biblical Counseling and Christian Counseling.

什么是圣经辅导?

当代有许多关于“(心理)辅导”的术语,例如“圣经辅导”、“基督徒心理辅导”、“世俗心理辅导”、“心理治疗/心理疗法”、“基督徒心理治疗/心理疗法”、“心理辅导”等等。这些术语很容易让人感到困惑,不理解它们究竟有什么区别。因此,我将尝试在此简要解释一下什么是“圣经辅导”,以帮助我们更好地理解这个概念,并在最后分享一些关于圣经辅导与世俗心理辅导的区别,以及圣经辅导与基督徒心理辅导的区别。

Carry One Another’s Burdens

Suffering alone is not how God has created us to live. He has created us and redeemed us through his Son Christ Jesus, so that we may live and love one another in God’s community in our union with Christ and with one another, and this includes carrying one another’s burdens and helping one another in need. God calls us to do this as he speaks to us in Gal. 6:2, “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the laws of Christ.”

苦难中的忍耐

我们大多数人从小就知道,生活里有很多不顺心的事情,有很多烦恼,有很多苦难。对于基督徒来说,很多人也有这种感悟:自从信主后,我的苦难不是减少了,而是增多了。有这种感悟是再正常不过的,因为事实的确如此。正如耶稣在约翰福音 16:33 中告诉我们的:“在世上你们有患难”,基督徒面对和经历的不只是这被罪污染的破碎世界里原本就有的许多“正常”苦难,还有更严重的来自撒旦的持续攻击(为的是动摇我们的信心,让我们远离神),以及来自我们被罪污染败坏的心所发出的无数罪的攻击。在世界、撒旦和我们自己的罪的三重影响下,基督徒的苦难自然是增多了,但从神的角度来看,这未必是一件坏事,因此,神在罗马书 5:3-5 中提醒和鼓励我们:“不仅如此,我们也以患难夸耀,因为我们知道患难生出忍耐, 忍耐生出品德,品德生出盼望, 而这盼望不使人羞愧,因为神的爱藉着所赐给我们的圣灵,已经倾注在我们的心里。”

Listening Wisely 倾听的智慧

Have you ever reacted quickly and emotionally to what another person had just said, without asking them what they really meant by what they said and getting clarification, but only found out later that you had misunderstood them, that they didn’t mean what you thought they meant? 你是否曾对别人说的话快速和情绪化地作出反应,却没有先问对方他们究竟是什么意思或请他们作出澄清,而后来却发现是你误会了他们,他们所要表达的意思并不是你以为的那样?

情绪与智慧 (Emotions & Wisdom)

God knows what He is doing because everything is from His good and merciful will, happening according to His plan. God is never surprised by anything, nor is he ever at a loss for what to do because all things are always under His control. 上帝知道祂在做什么,因为一切都是出于祂美善的旨意,在按照祂的计划进行。从来没有任何事情会让上帝感到意外或束手无策,因为一切都始终在祂掌权之下……

为什么有家暴的婚姻不适合直接进入婚姻辅导?

有许多在婚姻中出现问题的夫妻会寻求婚姻辅导,这非常好。但是,有几种情况是不适合直接先寻求或进行婚姻辅导的,其中包括存在家庭暴力的婚姻,因为家庭暴力和普通的夫妻矛盾不同。 家暴(家庭暴力/虐待)是指亲密关系里的一种胁迫、控制或虐待型行为模式,其中一方利用这类行为来获得或保持对另一方的操纵、控制和支配。它属于一种压迫,包括身体、性、情感、精神、心理和经济等各方面的虐待/压迫。

如何从圣经的角度看待心理学的“接纳与承诺疗法”连载三(完)(A Biblical View on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 3/3)

本系列第一篇连载中介绍了 ACT 总结的心理僵化六大核心心理过程,第二篇介绍了 ACT 针对心理僵化六大核心过程所提出的心理灵活性模型的六大核心步骤,本篇将从圣经角度分析 ACT 的积极面和消极面,介绍如何从圣经的角度看待 ACT 所主张的用于解决人生问题的六大核心步骤,以及圣经所教导的如何理解人生苦难和解决问题的真理。

如何从圣经的角度看待心理学的“接纳与承诺疗法”连载一 (A Biblical View on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy 1/3)

本系列文章连载将简要地分析 ACT 的理论,以及基督徒如何从圣经的角度看待 ACT。我们会发现,和许多其它的心理学理论一样,ACT 对人和人的问题有一些很好的观察,但是谈到这些问题背后的原因和解决方法时就与圣经真理背道而驰了。

辅导是一场同行崇拜之旅 (Counseling is a Journey of Worship)

Counseling is a journey that we walk alongside someone – The Lord leads us to meet them in the wilderness of their life, and we listen to their heart’s cry of sadness and/or trouble; we ask them questions and listen to them intently and patiently with compassion, drawing out the human heart that is like deep waters; we walk this journey of hardship with them, we communicate openly and honestly, and we pray together, crying out to God seeking His mercy and help… 辅导就是一段与对方同行的旅程——在她们徘徊迷失于生命旷野之地时,神让我们与她们相遇,并倾听她们发自内心的悲伤哭喊或烦恼倾诉;我们满怀同情地耐心询问与聆听,汲引如深水般的人心;我们与她们同踏这段艰难的旅程,开诚布公地沟通,并同她们祷告,呼求神的怜悯与帮助……

基督徒如何看待同性恋或同性相吸引

同性恋(或同性相吸引)在许多文化中都是一个人们避讳的话题,在教会中尤其如此,这导致了许多在这个领域挣扎的人感到无处诉说,在痛苦中加增痛苦,苦不堪言。但是,其实这不是一个我们应该避讳或回避的话题,更不是一个应该因谈论它而感到羞耻的话题,尤其是对于恩典遮盖下的基督徒。如果有这些挣扎的人在教会里都得不到爱和关怀鼓励,他们又如何看到那本应闪耀万丈的基督之光?